Quit, if you hate it

How I hated every job I ever had and created my own

People have accused me of being unstable. I thought of myself as hedonistic. People told me it would be a recipe to failure. I thought it would be liberating and amazing. All around me, others were getting better jobs, better salaries and got higher status in their career. All within big respectable companies.

Instead, I chose to start over my professional life 3 times by my 30th  birthday, with the risk of working for free for months, with the constant pressure of learning new things and always being on my toes as the new and insecure kid in town.

I was crazy, right?

But I’m so happy I was! Yes, I loved every job I ever had, until I hated it. If love only lasts for 3 years, I couldn’t last for 2 in a single place. Why? Not because it was tough, stressful or demanding. I am an achiever, so proving myself to superiors was by main subconscious goal. It was because none of the jobs had everything in them. If they were creative, they also had boring and tedious tasks that killed my artistic spirit. If they were bold and innovative, they also took all of my time and left me hollow and drained of any energy at the end of the day. My personal life was a mess. I was giving so much at work that I had nothing left to offer myself or my loved ones, in the short couple of hours that remained outside work, each day.

I was losing my very own personality. I was forgetting who I was inside, what I wanted to do in this world and how to make my presence matter in other people’s lives. Including my own.

The only solution? To face a threatening new start, as my own boss, head on! I had no idea if it would work, but I only relied on what I loved doing: creating new exciting projects and communicating them to people with the hope they would find inspiration in them. I improvised the kind of job that resembled ME. And each day, I choose the projects I want to take, I decide which people to work with and who to keep close. I decide what new opportunities to take and what new job I’d like to have next year. I rarely think about the money involved in every choice and keep my eyes on the prize: the freedom to be myself and have fun with it.

And you know what? It’s working. And it’s my 4th year so far, which means love has endured.